Participant Page 13

  “What’s with you? Aren’t you excited about modeling?”

  Of course I can’t tell her what’s really getting me down these days. Number one, I don’t like to complain about my problems to anyone. It makes me feel so much better for people to believe I have it together even if my life is blowing up in smoke. Number two, if I was going to complain about my money problems to anyone it certainly wouldn’t be to Sabrina. She’s practically an heiress. No, she is an heiress because I’m sure she stands to inherit something of serious actual monetary worth. There’s no way she could ever understand what I’m going through.

  “I’ve just had a pretty long day. How are you?”

  She collapses even further into the seat.

  “Super annoyed! First of all, my dad is pressuring me to make a decision soon about law school for this fall or spring at the latest. I keep telling him he needs to be patient and let me come to the decision on my own, but he won’t listen. I’m just so tired of hearing it. Then, Ben is seriously getting on my nerves. He goes through this phase every so often where he wants to proclaim his love for me, and it drives me crazy. I keep telling him to relax and he keeps telling me the same thing, so it just goes on and on in this circle of dysfunction until he backs off for a while and then the whole thing starts up again.”

  She pauses for a breath then continues.

  “To top it off, I just spent a good two hours at the Apple store. I ordered the new MacBook Pro online and was supposed to pick it up there but they said they didn’t have one for me and have none available because the new model recently came out and it went on and on and on until finally they found it and I finally got out of there. I spent like $500.00 shopping after that because I was there and so agitated.”

  “Wow,” I say, shaking my head. “Sounds like a terrible day to me. So, let me recap this. Your father wants to send you to law school, from which you will graduate with no student loans and potentially get an awesome job making a boatload of money. You have a hot guy who looks like he just stepped out of a magazine chasing you. You got a brand new, top of the line MacBook and went on a $500.00 shopping spree for which the bill will be going to your dad. Sounds like a real rough day to me.”

  “Well, yeah—it was,” she replies, indignantly crossing her arms across her chest with a huff. “I was in that store literally forever and it wasn’t even my fault.”

  I cock my head to the side and give her a reproachful look, eyebrows raised.

  “Uh, huh, sounds like rich girl problems to me,” I say, my voice thick with what I mean to sound like friendly sarcasm but is probably closer to a reprimand. She has no idea what a bad day is, and wouldn’t know a real problem if it poked her in the head with a stick.

  She relents. “Well, when you put it that way...I guess it’s not that bad...but yeah. You’re right. I’m disgustingly ungrateful and I’m so ashamed of myself.”

  I can’t tell if she really means it. I try to temper my annoyance. “Well, you should be. You’re the most fortunate person I know,” I say quietly. I just spent nine hours at a job I hate, no shopping included, and I have a five-year-old laptop so slow I can make a sandwich and eat half of it during the time it takes for it to boot up. I’d have traded my day for hers in a second. I shoot her a hard stare, but don’t say anything more. If only she knew, but I can’t talk about stuff like that with her. I stifle a sigh instead and say, “Now, let’s get to class shall we? Our modeling careers await.”

  When we get to the front desk, a staff member directs us to the runway room. We head all the way down the hall, turn left then continue down the hall. On the right is the largest room we’ve used thus far. A long counter lines one entire wall and an equally long mirror above the length holds a row of giant round bulb lights at the top. It’s exactly what I picture a New York City backstage dressing room would look like. A small carpeted stage extends outward, running almost the entire length of the room. Uh oh—the catwalk. A plain white backdrop covers another wall. I’ve seen something similar in a photography studio. Janine is already sitting in front of stations set up with a black box, tissue box, and jar filled with cotton balls and Q-tips. I sit next to her, frowning at my reflection in the mirror. Sabrina sits next to me.

  “What’s in the black box?” I ask Janine.

  “I don’t know. I’m too scared to open it.”

  The rest of the class files in and gets settled. When I notice Tessa’s reflection in the mirror, I turn around and smile at her. She smiles back. Sabrina wrinkles her brow, cocking her eyes sideways in confusion.

  “What’s that all about?”

  “I’ll explain later.”

  We sit chatting for a few minutes about our weekend and speculating about what our instructor will be like. Nine sets of eyes swivel around when she walks in, riveted on her every movement. She shuts the door behind her then glides to the center of the room. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve never seen a real model in person before and without knowing a thing about this woman, I know she’s a real model. Her tiny waist curves outward into wide flat hips. I can just barely make out hipbones pushing ever so slightly against her ragged edged, high waist, denim shorts. Long slim legs clad in black tights reveal a sliver of space between her thighs. A sheer, long sleeved shirt with a tank top underneath and black high top hiking boots complete her look. Her towering height is obvious, even in flat shoes. I’d guess 5’11” tall. She’s absolutely one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, striking even with a bare, non made up face. I’ve only seen girls who look like her in the ‘off duty model’ section of magazines. She clasps her hands in front of her and welcomes us to her class with a friendly smile. A delicate, pouty mouth perfectly balances her wide set, blue eyes.

  “Hello, my name is Melody and I’m going to be your instructor for the next four weeks. I’m a working model currently between contracts. I’m just back from Europe where I worked with an agency for about a year. They didn’t renew my contract.” She raises her eyebrows and cocks her eyes sideways. “I’m actually a former student of the Chloe Dillon Agency and have maintained a really good relationship with them over the years. When I’m in between agencies or assignments, I teach here. I love being able to come back to work with aspiring models and share all of my experience and knowledge of the modeling industry. I know that you’ve been in class for a while and know each other well, but I’m new so I’d like to start out with introductions. Please tell me your name and what you hope to get out of modeling class. We’ll start at this end.”

  Mindy is all the way to her left and begins her introduction. She and Molly talk about their love for singing and dancing. Modeling is one more thing to make them well rounded, marketable talent. Karen gives her little spiel about how she’s here because of little sister Callie. Her demeanor displays boredom and she has a listless air about her as usual, but Callie bounces out of her chair with glee.

  “I want to be just like you!” she squeals, clasping her hands together in front of her chest with a look of hope and longing on her face.

  With eyes no longer glued to the floor, Janine tells us confidently enough to elicit a laugh that she’s a computer nerd in need of a serious make-over.

  Tessa is last. “I’m Tessa. I acted all through high school and college. I loved acting and theatre, although my main goal would be to get into news casting or hosting. It all seems to cross over more and more these days, so I’m interested in being well rounded enough to get my foot in the door however I can.” The haughty edge in her voice from the first two session introductions is gone. She sounds like one of us.

  “Welcome to my class. We’re going to have a lot of fun and I hope to bring you all closer to your goals. Inside the black box, you’ll find make up kits and brushes. We’re going to start out with testers first to determine your best colors and then we’ll swap out whatever doesn’t work for you. Here, pass these around.”

  She gives each of us a workbook. The first page shows what we’ll be doing eac
h week. We’ll have one additional class on a Saturday for our final photo shoot.

  Melody continues, “The photo shoot day isn’t required, but we recommend that you take advantage of it, especially if you want to participate in Agency Day. You’ll be provided with a contact sheet of all of your images and a full size headshot and body shot. For a small fee, you can purchase the disc with all of your digital images on it. Also, starting tomorrow, I want everyone to start keeping a food journal. You can download a calorie tracking app if it’s easier to track foods that way but I want you to write it all down. We’ll work with that in week three when we get to nutrition. Turn around, face your mirrors and open your boxes everyone. Let’s get right into make-up.”

  “What’s Agency Day?” Callie asks, but Melody tells us that we’ll find out more about it later.

  I’m excited because this is the fun part where I learn to look like a model. We open our little black boxes and chatter fills the room as we examine the items inside. I know what all this stuff is and I even have some of it, but I don’t really know how to use it properly.

  “These are the basics. I have a lot more than this in my make-up kit and if you pursue modeling, then there are a lot more items that you should probably get if you don’t already have them. In your workbook is a list of the additional items that you should consider buying to complete your kit and we have all of it here for sale. If you have any make up on, use the cotton balls and make up remover to take it off. I’m going to sit with each of you and see if the colors are okay for your skin tone.” She grabs a three-legged stool and her tester kit and goes over to sit with Mindy first.

  I cast my eyes sideways at Tessa. I’ve never seen her face in anything but very full on, very carefully applied make up. A sour expression crosses her face when she hears it all has to come off. Everyone reaches for the cotton balls to dab at their faces except Janine and I who have absolutely nothing on. I’m only wearing lip gloss. Tessa vigorously wipes away at her face and cotton balls saturated in streaks of color pile up in front of her. Good thing she’s last.

  Chatter in the class starts up again as everyone is either taking off make-up or waiting for their turn with Melody. Sabrina nudges me and says in a whisper, “So, what’s up with the ice queen?” She’s referring to Tessa, of course.

  “Well, last week we were the last two leaving class and both ended up in the bathroom at the same time, so I initiated a conversation with her.”

  “Why would you do a thing like that? She never gives any of us the time of day.”

  “I don’t know. I felt like I wanted to try to connect with her. Like, maybe there’s something more than meets the eye.”

  “And?” Sabrina asks with a skeptical look on her face.

  “And I think she has some learning to do about how to make friends. You know. Kindergarten Socialization 101, but I think there’s potential. She’s been through some things. I think she wants to be included, she just doesn’t know how.”

  Sabrina shakes her head. “Don’t expect me to get chummy with her.”

  “Well, I’m willing to give her a chance.”

  I glance over at Tessa again. The cotton ball pile has gotten bigger and darker, but she seems to be on the last swipes towards being make up free. She catches me looking at her and makes a help me face at herself in the mirror. I laugh a little. Sabrina looks over at her with a piercing stare then looks back at me.

  “Wow. It’s like a totally different person,” she says.

  “I know.” Her eyes appear smaller and features don’t pop out like they do when her face is slathered with make-up. She actually has decent skin. The bombshell look is gone without the make-up and she looks like your average, run of the mill pretty girl. That’s the case with most people, though.

  Melody works her way all the way down to Janine. They’ve determined that the foundation and everything else is just right for her but swapped out the pink lipstick because with her darker hair and brown eyes, a wine colored shade will look better on her.

  Melody turns to me next. Her glossy, chocolate brown, inverted bob cuts across her ears when she tilts her head forward, and long blunt bangs barely skim the top of her long eyelashes.

  “Hello, Alexis is it?”

  “Yep.” She’s even more perfect up close. Having her sit so close and look at me so intently makes me feel so self-conscious, I avert my gaze.

  “Okay, the foundations are going to be too light.”

  She reaches into her tester kit, pulls out a shade marked number seven and opens it. She dips a Q-tip in the bottle and brushes some on my chin along my jaw line to see if it’s a match.

  “Gosh I’m good,” she says, laughing. “I do believe that’s a perfect match. What do you think?”

  I turn my face sideways and look in the mirror. I can hardly see it’s there at all. “I think it looks good.”

  She replaces the number five that I had with a brand new number seven. “For the lipstick, I definitely think you need to go a little darker to balance out your skin tone. We don’t want your lips to look chalky. “Try this one,” she says, handing me a plum colored lipstick to swipe across the top of my hand. She takes the matching lip liner and draws a line right next to it.

  “Oooh...I really like this one!” I say.

  “Great. For the eye shadow, we’ll want to go a little darker as well. This should work for your base, this will be for your highlight, and this one will be for contouring. Stick with the charcoal for intensity.”

  I look at her, confused.

  “Don’t worry, you’ll be a pro at this by the time you’re done. Trust me. I think this blush will work better for you,” she says, swapping out my blush with a flourish. “And that’s it. Your colors are done.”

  “Wow, that was fast,” I say.

  “Well, I have been doing this for a while. I’ve been modeling since I was fourteen.”

  She continues down the line until everyone has the right colors. “Let’s get right to it. Snap a pic of yourself for a before shot. Then, you can compare it to what you look like after.”

  I hold my phone in front of my face and snap a picture. Mine looks like a mug shot while Sabrina somehow manages to look tousled and sexy even in a makeup free selfie.

  “We’ll start out with the kind of make-up that you could wear on a casting or audition then add a little more just to teach you how to glam it up for industry events or if you have to do your own make up for shoots. You never want your make up to be too over the top. If it’s a commercial print audition, the make-up should be natural. If it’s an editorial client, then you will wear even less because they really need to see your natural skin and bone structure.”

  Bone structure? I have no bone structure.

  Melody tells us to tear off one of the triangle sponges and start with the liquid foundation. She walks us through the process, starting with the broad sweeping strokes for applying and blending liquid foundation.

  “If you’re doing it right and you have the right color, you shouldn’t even be able to tell you’re wearing it. Its main function is to even out your skin tone and provide a nice base for everything else. This is where we would stop for an editorial casting, sometimes even less depending on the client. It’s often a really difficult thing for new models to understand, but less really is more on the casting. They’ll load you up with make-up for the shoot if you book the job.”

  We continue on with the blush, mascara and lip-gloss application. Melody tells us that this is where we would stop if we were going for a commercial print audition. It’s just enough to smooth out the skin, add a little color and bring out the eyes.

  I had no idea so much layering was involved in eye shadow. You literally layer one shade on top of the other but in different parts of the eyelid, starting with the lighter shade. Then comes the eyeliner. I managed to get a good line on my upper lid but the bottom one was a bit of a mess because I felt like I was going to poke my eye out. We finish everything off with lipstick, t
he powder foundation to set it, and the final result is so impressive that I can’t believe I did it all by myself with just the tools we got today. My eyes have doubled in size. The blush adds a perfect flush to my face and the well-matched foundation makes my skin appear flawless.

  “Like what you see?” Janine asks.

  “Yeah. I do,” I say, not taking my eyes off my face in the mirror.

  “Me too,” she says excitedly. “I never felt like makeup was for me, you know. I’m not the type. But I actually like it. I wouldn’t wear this much every day, of course, but why not add a little something?”

  Exactly—why not add a little something?

  “Okay, everyone, snap your after picture and we’ll take a ten minute break.”

  I hold my cell phone in front of my face to snap a selfie and even post it on Instagram because this is definitely an Instagram moment for me.

  Molly yells at everyone to gather around so Melody can take our picture. When we’re standing together against the wall, I notice Tessa still sitting in her seat on the end, watching us in the reflection of her mirror. The amount of makeup she was wearing before actually aged her, but with this slightly more subtle application, she looks youthful and soft, balancing out the harsh color of her white hair.

  “Tessa, come on!” I call out to her.

  A few hushed whispers break out behind me and the chatter suddenly dies down. They’re undoubtedly wondering why I’m asking the ice queen, who made it clear she wants nothing to do with any of us, to come join our shot. For one horribly embarrassing second, I think she’s going to ignore me, but she turns and hops up from her chair.

  She walks over to us and tentatively says, “You all look really good.” She stands next to me.

  “Say cheese,” Melody says. I smile, feeling different—upbeat and pretty damn good about myself, two emotions I haven’t felt together in a long time, and I feel as though I’m truly among friends with this group of girls. I’m wearing a light sweater, but even still, my arms go prickly with goosebumps because this is the beginning of something special for me. I can feel it.